Just kidding... for now.


I just wanted to scare you. But they are in renegotiations.


However, they're only getting paid $150,000 per episode. There are SO many more TV stars getting paid MORE than that. Look at some sitcoms. And Lilly wants to retire after Lost.


Anyway, let's imagine a world without Jack and Kate on Lost... :'(

May that world never leave our imaginations.

So I got impatient at the world for not showing me the damn trailer for Saw V yet and went to Apple to watch it.


The hymn "Be Thou My Vision" has led me to believe that Jigsaw is Jesus and shall rise again.


Seriously, it's been a good year for media with Metal Gear Solid 4, The Dark Knight, and 24: Exile. Now we can all expect Saw V to be the fifth best film of the year. Since the Oscars are usually 4 nominations*, I think we'll see Saw V just slip by without an official recommendation, but the unspoken truth is... it just missed it by three votes.


Those three voters all got envelopes that had a letter inside. That letter read: UP.

Hey, you're all going to see ads for youtube.com/kmart's little back to school/High School Musical contest. I made one of the example commercials. Guess which one.

http://www.youtube.com/kmart

While this trailer is poorly made, it does prove ANY Jack Bauer is AWESOME JACK BAUER!!!!!!!!

Actually, I went to go see this at the midnight show, but I figured I'd let opening day come and go...

Guys, there were 20 people in the theater... DURING A MIDNIGHT SHOW! This film's going to bomb. Sorry.

:'(

For those "Cool People" out there, they might have noticed that a new Blues Brothers and Tommy Boy DVD came out today. That's right, two fat comedians and their number one movies go head to head (props to Belushi for also having Animal House in his corner.

Let's look at the extras:
Both: Two discs (Blues is double sided)
Blues Brothers: A tribute to John Belushi.
Tommy Boy: A tribute to Chris Farley.

Wait a minute... this is a fair fight! Can't wait for the sale grosses for this week. Finally, the age old question will be answered: Which fat man who died of a drug overdose is funnier? (or at least, sell more DVDs).

While I doubt anyone here even watches FOX, I have figured out their new business plan:

Make a show for only 13 episodes.
Air a fraction of them.
Cancel it.
Then release it on DVD.
High sales and bring the show back.

Family Guy gave them the idea and now they are doing it. Look at: Firefly, Wonderfalls, Undeclared, and, coming soon, Point Pleasant. Apparently, they're all great shows (I can only vouch for Firefly), so why does FOX even try? Why don't they start commissioning for a 13 episode mini-series. That way, shows can END on DVD instead of lasting forever. As for the last handful of episodes of Tru Calling and NBC's Boomtown... a DVD release seems far, far in the future... ya know, when Hell freezes over.

WELCOME TO GOTHAM, WANKERS

image taken down for legal reasons.

It would appear the director of The Brothers Grimm has taken a special interest in this site. I recieved an email from his lawyer asking me to either take down my "Welcome to Gotham, Wankers" picture or at least credit the big lug.

Apparently, the image has stolen the copy written image of Gilliam's 80s masterpiece Brazil. As a fan of Gilliam I have no choice but to post about this incident.

Terry... I'm deeply sorry about this. Now, could you stop suing me for The Brothers Grimm's budget? I'm sorry it bombed, but suing me will accomplish nothing.

The picture in question



Brazil - Terry Gilliam Masterpiece

I was watching the terribleness which was this year's MTV Music Video Awards (Grade: F). To escape, I switched between FASTLANE on G4 and Family Guy/American Dad. Both new seasons debut on 9/11, the day Seth almost died by terrorist for those who remember (he had a ticket to be on one of those planes, but slept in (!) ).

Family Guy ripped off a Simpsons' plot when Lois gets arrested and goes to jail for theft. Marge had the same thing happen to her.

American Dad ripped off the neighbors who move in and they don't like AND the mother/wife getting a job in real estate.

That's THREE plots that were shamefully stolen from another FOX show. Seth? WTF, man?

In other news, I saw a Kevin Smith episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Jay and Silent Bob fought ninjas... yeah... The big draw of the episode was seeing Caitlyn and Joey Jeremiah engaged and grown up (!). Holy crap! It still sucks compared to the original show, but at least those actors are getting work. Kevin Smith ruined the whole thing by having it be about him, but whatever. He is a funny, fat, fuck.

"Hopefully no one thinks I've left... for MySpace. It is true I finally got an account there, but it is a lonely place. It truly is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Fear not, compatriots, I have not left fore there is no place else better to go."

WELCOME TO GOTHAM, WANKERS

This is my new siggy. loves ^_^
(left: Danielle Panabaker right: Rachel McAdams)

Look, it even makes SENSE! Danielle is shouting it at you and Rachel thinks it is funny. Gotham is just as it always is... on the brink - with good fighting evil. See ya in 20.

Looks like the world LOVES Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

100!!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/batman_mask_of_the_phantasm/

(Repost)
As much as the world probably wishes to forget about it, we can not deny the importance Superman IV: The Quest For Peace has in the world today.

One such case as come to my attention. It pains me to inform that the respected Chicago Sun-Times has started to print a new section which is nothing more than grocery store tabloid material.



The section known as "Fluff" features pointless drivel such as what Kevin Smith wore to a premiere and how much weight Lindsey Lohan has gained.

If that weren't bad enough, it has also come to my attention the shocking accuracy that Superman IV: The Quest For Peace had at predicting this event. We may (or probably won't) remember a subplot in which the "Daily Planet" is bought by Mr. Warfield and turned into a sleezy, lying, Citizen Kane-like tabloid fodder.



Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye! How could something that we were warned against end up happening in real life? Is this to mean that a "Nuclear Man" is in Earth's nigh-future? I believe so, but stay tuned Superfriends. :O

Due to a lack of response of the post, I've decided to bulletin this.

The Star Trek Fight Theme (when Spock and Kirk battle to the death) vs. Battle of the Heroes (when Anakin and Obi-Wan battle to the... whatever).

FIGHT!!!!

(Original Post)
Battle of Friends Music BATTLE!!!

Okay, The Star Trek Fight Theme (when Spock and Kirk battle to the death) vs. Battle of the Heroes (when Anakin and Obi-Wan battle to the... whatever).

FIGHT!!!!

• 
  
• Leeper originally commented:
  Do i really have to say anything.....
  
  Posted by Guitar Jesus on Aug 27, 2005 10:58 PM
• 
  
  
• I originally commented:
  YES, BITCH!!!!
  
  And reasons why. Links on Bulletin, Glutton!
  
  Posted on Aug 28, 2005 12:23 AM
• 
  

Thus, the 2005 summer is coming to an end. We have Brothers Grimm tomorrow and then next week. After that, I declare the summer officially OVER!

This year has sucked, not just the summer, but the entire year has been one shitty movie after another. I blame school's like Columbia which encourage either art crap or lazy crap. Few movies this summer has had balls. Let's go over some of the flicks:

Cinderella Man: I didn't see this like the rest of America. After Alexander and The Avaitor all Academy movies SUCK SUCK SUCK. Okay, Alexander will not be nominated for anything, but Academy movies really, really, really suck. Fuck you, Crowe. Make Virtuosity 2!!!

Batman Begins: Yeah, it was good. But...

Land of the Dead: Best horror/zombie movie of the year. Smart zombie action. You WILL cry!

Herbie: Bleh.

War of the Worlds: FIRE TRAIN!!!!

Fantastic Four: Fantastic. Surprisingly good movie. But...

Wedding Crashers: Kinda funny in a sick way. I'm glad this R-rated raunchy comedy has stolen the Chocolate Factory audience.

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory: Good, but the original is better. And tastier.

The Devil's Rejects: Never did see it, but I will own the DVD.

Red Eye: Fucking brilliant! Yay!!!!!! Great film, see it now!!! Don't pay more than $5 though. It's like 80 mins long.

The Island: I hate all you Michael Bay haters out there. Besides Red Eye, this was THE BEST SCI-FI CHASE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!!!! (until Serenity )

Wait, you say, where's Star Wars? I was in school when that came out, so I don't count it. What about Cinderella Man, you ask? I just wanted to say I hated Alexander and Avaitor again.

This is it? 2005 was supposed to be THE YEAR OF MOVIES!!!!! It wasn't. WTF!? 2003 was 100x better!!!

Deuce Bigalow 2: Very funny. Very crude. Kinda worth the $4, but it wasn't really a real movie.

I don't read anyone else's site. I barely blog here. Yeah, I'm not into this whole "MySpace" fad. I still hate everyone who uses it.

Yet, I still check it daily. I really only read bulletins because they show up on my main screen. Not like anyone is really "friends" on these things anyway. Bleh :X

Okie dokie, so... blogs... yeah. Whatever.

Geez, everyone wants to kill me! What a world I live in. Isn't there anyone who doesn't want to kill me?

• 
  
• Leeper originally commented:
  Dude you don't tell a guy their sister is hot, it doesn't matter if they are or not, especially rich............ he'll kill ya....... and greg don't tell greg that either, he won't kill you, he'll do much, much worse.... my sister's only five so if you say that to me i'll make a disgusting face and call the cops, but anywhoooooooo........
  
  
  
  JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
  
  Posted by Guitar Jesus on Aug 25, 2005 7:49 PM
• 
  
  
• I originally commented:
  Geez people, with exception to Rich, I was kidding. And Rich knows (in his heart) that it's just a known fact. The rest of you don't be scared. To the Rich Troupe, have I made any move what-so-ever besides pissing Rich off?
  
  To other clans, I have removed the above post because I realized it would piss not just Rich off, but a few more people. As for Rich, you know I don't want you to kill me, but I'm also not going to go back on what was said for reasons of truth. I'm not a Vulcan, but I'm rarely capable of lying. Besides, you should be used to this now.
  
  Skit:
  Rich: I'm going to stab you! And then eat your soul! Then, if you're lucky, I will kill you!
  Rob: (rebuttal) Yes, and the next galaxy.
  
  Posted on Aug 25, 2005 10:18 PM
• 
  

Well, here's my MySpace blog. Now I'm a trashy poser hick like the rest of you. I don't care, cause I'll never use this. Peace and loves peeps!